I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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