from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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