the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
