you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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