Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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