so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
