He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
