Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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