Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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