what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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