at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
