Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize