I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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