the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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