he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
