Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she looked like the before picture.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
