i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
