I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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