I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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