so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
