Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
