I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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