what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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