no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
