what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
