she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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