we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
