i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how can u be prego again
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
