I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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