Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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