Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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