JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
