Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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