i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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