Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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