okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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