At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
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I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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