stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
