I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
