I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
