Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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