i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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