Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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