I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
