she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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