what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now