Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.