Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
