Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize