You just made me feel so damn special
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
