I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
