But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
