let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
