matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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