why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound