Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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  (704): but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn? http://tfl.nu/yhjz
  Replies (16) Good night (5685) Bad night (779)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3056) Bad night (1389)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5945) Bad night (786)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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  (773): somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students http://tfl.nu/zxwh
  Replies (8) Good night (4392) Bad night (1000)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

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  (503): Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality. http://tfl.nu/vr2w
  Replies (13) Good night (4366) Bad night (1297)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?

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  (203): If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him? http://tfl.nu/p8ua
  Replies (8) Good night (3884) Bad night (1039)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

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  (229): They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME http://tfl.nu/jm4f
  Replies (5) Good night (1280) Bad night (2231)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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  (314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix
  Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (1345)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

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  (202): Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home. http://tfl.nu/5j3k
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (462)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.

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  (605): If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van. http://tfl.nu/2zw8
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (599)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.

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  (917): Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays. http://tfl.nu/jpwh
  Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (1142)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one

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  (585): I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one http://tfl.nu/3p0c
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (341)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"

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  (617): So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?" http://tfl.nu/5su3
  Replies (3) Good night (2427) Bad night (465)
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  (925): View more from California

  Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...

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  (925): Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat... http://tfl.nu/8lha
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (530)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.

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  (361): I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ovfn
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (275)

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