I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.