Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth