Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.