Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities

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(917): i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities http://tfl.nu/habk

Replies (30) Good night (7392) Bad night (2743)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(267): The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon. http://tfl.nu/yrqs

Replies (8) Good night (1061) Bad night (3750)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I love how my cats smell like pot.

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(410): I love how my cats smell like pot. http://tfl.nu/85ca

Replies (12) Good night (4492) Bad night (1325)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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(513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f

Replies (7) Good night (6073) Bad night (897)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Is it working?

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(810): Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ? (828): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/tjek

Replies (18) Good night (4707) Bad night (1016)
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(205): View more from Alabama

She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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(205): She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go http://tfl.nu/6usw

Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (1900)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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(304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii

Replies (20) Good night (2858) Bad night (942)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

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(304): I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/ufac

Replies (17) Good night (1730) Bad night (479)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

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(702): Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right? http://tfl.nu/4gj4

Replies (8) Good night (1472) Bad night (455)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point

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(218): i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point http://tfl.nu/qeeg

Replies (2) Good night (1894) Bad night (468)
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(310): View more from California

Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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(310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod

Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (418)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

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(802): I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it http://tfl.nu/32uz

Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (537)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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(317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8

Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (249)
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(310): View more from California

thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.

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(310): thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones. http://tfl.nu/qrwe

Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (348)
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(410): View more from Maryland

SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING

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(410): SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING http://tfl.nu/00e7

Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (790)

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