Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.

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  (859): it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/bad1
  Replies (30) Good night (3368) Bad night (953)
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  (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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  (415): I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die? (510): I hope so http://tfl.nu/tt2l
  Replies (41) Good night (2289) Bad night (5325)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.

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  (248): Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there. http://tfl.nu/llil
  Replies (55) Good night (1384) Bad night (3561)
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  (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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  (03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e
  Replies (18) Good night (7166) Bad night (1181)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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  (905): Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots http://tfl.nu/aobh
  Replies (14) Good night (2949) Bad night (1890)
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  (585): View more from New York

  any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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  (585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3
  Replies (16) Good night (6021) Bad night (1174)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?

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  (207): well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work? http://tfl.nu/5z5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3305) Bad night (1047)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think we should have started that trash fire

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  (215): I don't think we should have started that trash fire http://tfl.nu/5qs5
  Replies (14) Good night (2036) Bad night (1516)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I have vodka in my lungs

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  (206): I think I have vodka in my lungs http://tfl.nu/shpx
  Replies (4) Good night (2054) Bad night (1221)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

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  (214): She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box. http://tfl.nu/8utv
  Replies (7) Good night (2460) Bad night (1003)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (631)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas

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  (412): It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas http://tfl.nu/da47
  Replies (8) Good night (1127) Bad night (466)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!

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  (651): Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me! http://tfl.nu/o7c9
  Replies (9) Good night (429) Bad night (1055)
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  (242): View more from Bahamas-Carib

  I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.

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  (242): I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/7m2e
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (570)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER

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  (828): It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER http://tfl.nu/5p6u
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (278)

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