im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
