Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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