It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
