Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
